Nature's greatest joke ???????



















Do you realize that the only time in life we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you? ...  "I'm four and a half " ........You're never 36 and a half ...  you're four and a half going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number. How old are you?  "I'm gonna be 16."  You could be 12, but you're gonna be 16. And then the greatest day of your life happens....You become 21.  Even the words sound like a ceremony.... you BECOME 21 ... YES!!!

But then you turn 30 ......oohhh what happened there? He TURNED, Makes you sound like bad milk ...Thereís no fun now.

What's wrong?  What changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40 ...from there, it's all slipping away ...You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50 ... and your dreams are gone. Oh oh, feels like getting old now!!!

Then you MAKE IT to 60 ... and canít believe youíve gone so far!!!! So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60.... then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!  Oh Oh it definitely starts to feel like getting older now !!!

After that, it's a day by day thing. After that, you HIT Wednesday ... You get into your 80's, you HIT lunch. You TURN 4:30 pm,  And it doesn't end there ...  into the 90's you start counting backwards .Ö.I was JUST 92 ...Then a strange thing happens. .  If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again ... and say "I'm 100 and a half!!"

*Signs That Childhood Is Over*


*Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore.
*You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland.
*You have friends who have kids.

*Your parents' jokes are now funny.

*Naps are good.
*Saturday mornings are for sleeping.
*You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.
*You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, cuz mom is not there to
do your laundry anymore.
*You leave concerts and ballgames early to beat the crowd.

*Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.
*You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.

*Being bad is no longer cool.
*You look in the surveillance camera monitor at the convenience store,
wonder who that guy is standing at the counter with the bald spot, and
then realize it's a shot of you from behind.


Getting Older Lines


Now that I'm older ... here's what I've discovered:
I STARTED out with nothing ... I still have most of it.
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It was all so different before everything changed.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.













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