"SENIOR CITIZENS "

 

I'm a senior citizen

 

'I'm the life of the party even when it lasts 'till 8pm.

I'm very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid...

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grand-children are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for : long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care....etc...

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like............uh...

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the *initial state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.

I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 50?

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat,anti-smoke,anti-noise,anti-inflammatory.

I'm supporting all movements now by eating bran, prunes & raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts I've just lost the storeroom.
I''m a "Senior Citizen" and I am having the time of my life!!

 

(P.S.  Money Can't Buy wisdom.)

 

 

*I'm Not Old ... Just Mature*

 

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a real “gent”.
From my purchase, this chap took off 10 percent.
I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;
And he answered, "Because of the Seniors Discount."
I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries;
and there, once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee, which he handed to me.
He said, "For you seniors, the coffee is free."
Understand -- I'm not old -- I'm merely mature;
but some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure.

The newspaper print gets smaller each day,
and people speak softer -- can't hear what they say.

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white,
But don't call it gray ... saying "blond" is just right
My shiny white teeth are my own (I have the receipt),
and my glasses help me identify people I meet.
My friends all get older ... much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.
I've got "character lines," not wrinkles ... for sure,
But don't call me old ... just call me mature.
 
The steps in the houses they're building today
are so high that they take ... all my breath away;
And the streets are much steeper than 10 years ago.
That should explain why my walking has become slow.

My car is all paid for ... not a nickel is owed.

Yet a kid yells, "Old duffer ... get off of the road!"
Yet I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new,
And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.

Day after  day I feel a little more pressure

and I've slowed down a bit ... not a lot, I am sure.
Yet, I'm still in the running ... in this I'm secure,
For I'm not really old ... I'm only mature.

 

 

Now do you want to know how we, senior citizens get around ????

Discover the SMU (Senior Mobile Unit) by clicking the SMU link below

 SMU

 

 

 

 

 

 

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